Pass the Salt Please...
Think many of you have wondered why the number of posts these couple of days have exceeded my total number of posts for the past year.
Well, the truth is, my emotions are on a roller coaster ride lately, and writing makes me feel better. Just want to put my thoughts down so it doesn't keep churning away in my mind. Actually, this wasn't the initial cause, but it's soon becoming the primary cause.
I started writing this series of blog entries because my vocal teacher said my singing was bland. No feeling, no emotion, no packing, no decorations, just raw voice.
That set me wondering, what happened to my emotions?
I used to scrap through auditions for public performances by the way my songs felt. My singing techniques weren't good then, and I don't think I sounded very well, but I could sing until I nearly cry. I really could feel the song, and I think the audience could catch it too.
So what happened to the flavor? Why did it become so bland?
After careful thought, I've come to realize that throughout the years, I've shrugged off too many hurts, instead of dealing with them. I thought I was cool, but these hurts have seared my emotion, and made me a bitter cripple.
Throughout the years I've tried to decipher the meaning behind harsh words. I took "You cannot make it leh!" to mean "I think you could do better in this area.", "You very slow leh, hurry up!" to mean "We're late. Maybe we could walk faster?" etc. I tried to take the negative words out, and seek the intentions of the speaker.
Lately, it's been increasingly difficult for me to do this. I don't know if my patience is running low, stress is high, or I just simply couldn't pretend that it doesn't hurt anymore. Words do hurt.
So here I am, writing about my emotions. I was hoping that by identifying my emotions, and writing them down, I would bring myself to realize that I'm only human and I have emotions, and I have an ability and a right to feel. When I'm hurt, I can say it hurts, and not shrug it off.
What Pst Kong said is right. You can't shut down a certain faculty of your emotions, and leave the rest on. It just doesn't work.
So pass the salt here please. I'm tired of being bland.
Let the weak say, "I am strong." (Joel 3:10b, NKJV)
posted by Chin Hong @ 8:30 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Aye... I think it boils down to being balanced... To feel and yet not to hurt others (hurling insults etc or getting violent) or get hurt too much (aka, to be able to let go).. It's a hard combination though... =\ Whatever it is, hope that you can overcome whatever is in your way now. As for singing without emotions.. My "band" has gone thru tt phase b4.. So no worries.. Ur emotions will come back one. =) Ganbatte!
*Christine*~
Dear Jinhong, thanks for helping Steve with the cheaper air ticket. :) And yes, you n June have more posts these days! And it's so nice to read them. Really very encouraged when i read both your posts you know. :D And i do agree with you so much. Writing allows one to pour out their emotions. Suddenly remember one mesg that Pst Kong preached about last year which I also shared with my class in BNSS. 'Your words frame your world'!! Do you remember? Let's continue to encourage each other through our writings. :)
I know this sounds really theoretical... But perhaps if we wanted to, we could really take control of our emotions.. And once we claim responsibilities for our own emotions, it might seem easier.
I'm an advocate that people can control their emotions. No one and nothing can make you unhappy, unless you allow them to. Same for words... Unless you allow them to hurt you, they can't.
If we were to look at it from this angle, everything people say are either facts or opinions. If you recognise that it is a fact, accept it and try to change for the better. If it is just an opinion, shrug it off and continue with your life. There's no need to feel angry or hurt, only gratitude in the knowledge on where you can improve.
And sometimes, it's really simple. In order to do something well, you just have to really decide to put in your 100% in improving that.
But at the end of the day, I feel it all boils down to a simple fact that people sometimes forget.. Life is to be enjoyed. If you're not enjoying what you're doing right now, if you're waiting for something to happen before you can enjoy your life... then perhaps it's time to start enjoying your life. =)
Jia you the gorsk... I'm very inexperienced in the ways of the world, so my comments might be way naive and childish. Just my two cents anyway. Take whatever that might be useful, with a pinch of salt, and throw the rest away. =)
One of my favourite poems to date.. =)
...
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
...
http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html
Yo de Drrsk!
I think your comment is neither immature nor childish. :)
You're right, happiness is a choice, and we can choose the angle we want to look at things...
Facts or opinions is a good point, the difficulty comes in deciding which one's which. :P
Sometimes when patience runs dry, or you just had a lousy day, it's easy to get defensive and take opinions for facts and facts for opinions. :P
Guess there's many things happening in my life now, and I'm transiting between places, that's why the roller coaster.
Well, at the end of the day, I'm still enjoying life, and I'm enjoying the emotions of life. :)
Think life is still about balance. A good balance of mind over heart and heart over mind lets you experience the best of both worlds!
PS: You're one of the most (if not the most) patient people I know, perhaps that's why you're able to control you emotions better (logic and reasoning aside).
Haha, just another thing to add since I'm reminded of it.
Emotions aren't exactly a bad thing. Positive emotions like peace, joy, happiness aside, perceived "negative" emotions could cause positive action as well.
Anger could cause you to overcome fear and lash out at the oppressor to protect your loved ones. Frustration could cause you to come up with creative problems to solve your present problems.
Of course it is easy for negative emotions to bring us down if we have ill-disciplined minds.
So we need to guard our minds to ensure we think the right thoughts and also to guard our hearts so that our emotions give rise to positive action and not destructive ones. :)
Yep.. On the point of fact or opinion, some people do not recognise that there's really no need to convince others that their opinions are wrong. No one likes to be told they are wrong. The difficult thing about negative facts and opinions is not really them itself, but how you react to them psychologically.
Some people worry all their lives about receiving negative comments. They ask themselves how they can reduce the number of negative comments others make of them. They don't realise how foolish it is. They are seeking an answer, where they should be seeking the right question instead. It really doesn't matter what others say, but who you are inherently, and what you choose to do.
Emotions are inherent. We will always experience emotions, because there are things and people we care about. What I'm advocating is taking charge of your emotions - making sure that your head still rules, and not letting emotions drive you to do something that you might regret.
And on the topic of personal truth (which I've discussed before), sometimes I find that many of the things I've been reading about, are really things that we have already known. I realised that many things are not that difficult after all - sometimes all it takes for you to succeed is a genuine desire for it, and a committed and determined soul.
And no, patience and determination are still some things I need a lot of training on. I have yet to take charge of my life fully, but I'm learning. There are things I wished I've done, but I still haven't. =)
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